The first draft I read was for Jacob. In Jacob's draft he has great information about the creators of the commercial and gives a conclusive image of what the creators of the commercial had in mind for the product they are trying to promote. I feel his paper reads smoothly and has very minimum corrections needed.
Peer feedback for first draft (Sarah)
The second draft I read was for Sarah. I feel that Sarah's makes great progress with her first draft. Some of the parts become confusing with the use of "they" being used to mean different groups of people without specification but overall I feel that the draft reads well and established the goal of what the commercial is about. With minimum corrections this draft can become a well written paper.
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